How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
