So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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