Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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