you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
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