The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
