After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
