Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
