glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
