Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
