Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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