I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
