hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
