at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
there is glitter all over my balls
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
