I'm sorry my penis didn't work
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
This is my life. Enjoy the view
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
