Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
