The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
