she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
