So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
