What a fucking waste of an outfit
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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