there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
