i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
