So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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