I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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