I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
