every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
