whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Randomize
