I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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