I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
