We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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