i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
people are starting to question the shark bite story
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
