You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
