We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
