he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize
