Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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