yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Randomize
