No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
the condom got lost in my hair
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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