I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
do herpes really smell.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Randomize
