maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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