i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
