I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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