using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Randomize
