Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
