Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
