But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
