a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
You've changed since you got that strap on
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
