It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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