She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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