i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
