Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
