He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
He did a backflip because drugs
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
