Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
