IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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