So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
