Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize
