Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
